Thursday, September 6, 2007

A Perfect Spirit

"And I also beheld that all children who die before they arrive at the years of accountability are saved in the celestial kingdom of heaven." Doctrine and Covenants 137:10

I met a perfect spirit. I knew a very sweet lady who would bring her boys into childwatch. When I was pregnant with Emma, who was a surprise, she told me that she was pregnant also, and this one was a surprise for her to. She had her third boy, Anthony, in April and shortly after he turned 7 weeks she started to bring him in to childwatch. This little baby was the sweetest and most loving baby. As soon as you started looking at him he started to smile. He never complained, whined or cried. In fact I feel guilty about not being able to hold him more because if there is a fussy baby the happy babies get put down so the fussy ones can be tended to. The last time I saw little Anthony was August 24th, then we had shut down in the YMCA and we were closed for a week. Yesterday I was told that sweet baby Anthony passed away on August 31st. He was only 4 and a half months old. SIDS took his life. Today I attended his funeral with some of my co-workers. I know that this infant suffered no pain and that he was taken because he was perfect. But my heart was breaking for the emptiness that the mother must be feeling. Not to be able to ever hold your sweet squishy soft and cuddly baby ever again. The mother in me was screaming "WHY?". But I know why, it just doesn't make the separation any easier. As I watched her walking away from the grave site where the tiny casket was lowered, she kept looking back over her shoulder. I could feel her forcing herself away from her baby. A mothers instinct is to protect her baby with her life and now she has to leave that lifeless body all alone. His spirit is no longer there, his body is now just an empty shell. It served it's purpose, he gained his body and now he can return to Heavenly Father in the Celestial Kingdom. There is no chance that he will stray or that he will never hear the gospel. He will never fear terrorism or disease. He lived a simple happy and love filled life and now his journey is over. This sweet baby is in a better place that so few of us will ever see. I know these truths, but I am still weeping. I still ache for a mother who had to say good-bye to her precious baby. This little 4 1/2 month old baby has taught me how precious life really is, so I will hold my little ones closer and tighter and longer tonight. I ask that whoever reads this that you will keep Anthony's family in your prayers.


Annie said...

Oh my goodness...break my heart! I too will keep Anthony's family in my prayers and hold my children tonight a little tighter and a little longer. Wow, that makes me so weepy!

Cyrus and Annie said...

So sad. It brought tears to my eyes reading his little obituary and then your post. You are so sweet.

Lainie said...

What a tramatic experience for any mother. Thanks for your sobering comments Kara. We're so glad our kids have you in the childwatch. Thanks for taking such good care of them too!