Friday, September 24, 2010

Beluga Love (Disclaimer: It's a little racey!)

Two weeks ago we took a trip to Sea World and Disney World with the whole family. It was loads of fun and the kids were troopers. On our first day to Sea World we were all educated in the mating rituals of the Beluga Whale. This big guy had his eyes set on that female and he was determined to make it work. We were just missing some candle light and a little Barry White.
Emma's look is priceless! This is the look of innocence being shattered. Actually I'm just kidding, she had no idea what was going on. She did wonder why the boy whale was being so mean to the girl whale though. Luckily her attention was diverted by some fake ship props that included a climbing rope that was about as tall as I am. All the kids quickly lost interest, I tell you what, Beluga love making is very frustrating. Apparently you have to be very precise because they are constantly swimming around. He'd get so close, and then....miss! There was a small crowd forming of adults that was aware of what was being attempted. We all started to cheer him on, then moan in frustration for the poor whale when his efforts kept getting thwarted.
I guess that's what led to this. When all else fails, bite her....I guess.

Friday, September 17, 2010

Lesson Not Learned

Tobie is starting a new phase in life. The annoying disobedient, defiant, back talking snotty phase. I loose my cool on a daily basis due to his sarcastic quips and hissy fits. Last night I thought I had the opportunity of a lifetime to teach him the important lesson that you better come when Mama calls you.

We had our quarterly Relief Society Meeting last night. It was really good overall, even though I have started fighting a really bad head cold and Theo was out of town for the evening which means I had to bring the kiddies with me.

When our evening was over and it was time to head home I started rounding up the kids. I say it all the time, but trying to get your kids to do what you ask all at the same time is like herding cats. They always go in different directions. I'm usually pretty good about getting them under control and out the door in a timely manner...usually. Last night I had all my girls ready and waiting, but where was Tobie?

He was running around the church all sweaty and yelling like a lunatic. I hollered at him to get in the car, that we were leaving. So he does the obvious thing and runs into the Primary room and shuts the door, still screaming like a madman. I sent Miriam down the hall to tell him to get a move on. She tells him several times to come until finally I tell her to just leave him and lets go.

I get the girls all strapped in the car and we wait....and wait....and wait. I came up with an idea to move my car so when he DID come out he wouldn't see the car and freak out a little. So I move the car and wait....and wait...and wait. Still no Tobie.

Then I got an even better idea, I'm going to leave him for real! Of course I wouldn't leave him without a way home, so I pull up to the door and a Sister was coming out who just happens to pass my neighborhood on her way home. I stage the scene telling her to go talk to him and let him know that she just saw me pull out of the parking lot, but not letting him know that I set him up a ride home. I pull out with my girls feeling very proud of myself for thinking of such a grand scheme that would certainly teach this boy a lesson.

I got home, get the girls out and wait for this Sister to bring him home. They finally arrive. I'm expecting red puffy eyes filled with tears and a heart full of repentance. Instead I find a nonchalant boy who thought it was cool to ride home in this Sister's front seat because she is able to turn off the airbag. *SIGH*

She told me when she went to get him and told him that I had left, she asked him didn't his mother tell him to get in the car? His response...."No, she didn't tell me even once!".