There are two YMCA's near my home. One I actually worked at for about 3 years. When I first got the job I had a 3 month old baby, Miriam. Soon after I got pregnant and gave birth to Emma. So needless to say I was pretty big the entire time I worked there. I'm not a slothful person, I just have a healthy appetite and like to eat a lot of the wrong things. But I exercise on a pretty regular basis, and I guess because of my size people assumed that when I would use the gym I was one of those people who was attempting a life changing decision to get into shape. Whenever my co-workers would see me heading to the locker room to change, or on my way to the machines I was encouraged with something like; "Great Job!", "Way to go, Kara!". I took their enthusiasm with stride, just grinning and responding with a quick, "Thanks.".
Yeah, Thanks a lot! What is that suppose to mean!!! Are they are saying that I NEED this? Just call me fat to my face why don't you! What would happen if you said this to an already thin person? They would probably get defensive, their self-confidence would be shaken, sending them into a depressed spiral of despair. Or not, whatever.
The point is, just because I'm overweight doesn't mean that I'm unfit. I've run a 10K and I'm geared up to run another 10K next Saturday. I have earned my passage into the athlete category, and out of the Little Engine that Could category. So I have taken a bit of offense from people who cheer on the fat girl because they think I am going to fail without their words of motivation, but in my mind I have already succeeded.
Now I go to another gym than the one I worked at. I don't have those people encouraging me anymore, and yet I feel the eyes from the athletes that actually look like athletes all on me. As if to say, "Way to go, Fat Girl! You can do it!". I know I can do it, now cheer on a thin girl and leave me the heck alone!
Pantry Living Weeks 11 & 12
3 months ago