Wednesday, April 22, 2009

My Distraction

I sometimes consider myself kind of lazy. It gets overwhelming to have 3 whirling dervishes wreaking havoc in a room you just spent 20-30 minutes cleaning. Thankfully Theo has the kind of job where he can be home any time around 2:30-4pm most afternoons. He is such a wonderful help around the house that I think; no, I know I have taken him for granted and have come to depend on him too much. I have started to expect him to take care of things if I am just too exhausted or sidetracked by my munchkins to take care of it myself.

So to my utter shame, my hardworking husband comes home to a dirty house with screaming children on a regular basis. I took offense if he happened to mention the house was out of sorts, which I would respond with a detailed list of the days stress and hardships I have endured that day. (*poor me*).

But for the last week he has been on a case in Oakland. He hasn't been coming home until 6pm every night. I went into deployment mode, even though he was going to be home in the evenings I knew that I was going to be alone during the meat of the day when kids need to be picked up and dropped off with meals in between, naps to be taken and nursing babies to be nursed.

And to my amazement my house has never been cleaner! I haven't been this on schedule since...well...he was deployed last. And I realized; I'm not lazy, I'm distracted. When he is home I want to be around him, I don't want to be vacuuming or cleaning dishes. I want to be where he is, talking about our day, our plans and enjoying our howling kids.

Since being in Oakland I am busying myself with chores and errands as I try to pass the time quickly until My Theo gets home at night. I got no distraction, the end result, a vacuumed carpet, clean dishes, made bed, clean living room and a hot supper waiting on the table.

It has really been eye opening for me. I realize that I need to be like this all the time, no more slacking! Even if My distraction is home I need to make my house a house of order so it can be a home for the rest of my family. No more fiddles playing my sad song about how difficult my 3 spirited children are, or how much I am stuck to a baby (or her stuck to me!). I'm turning a new leaf and I like it. I feel less burdened by my home and I am thankful for this experience that reminds me of the joys of being a stay at home mom. I feel a sense of accomplishment when I see a clean living room, or a made bed. I'm starting to take pride in these little feats that when all put together represents a well oiled machine I call a Family.

(Maybe I'll ask Theo to start working late at his normal job so I can get more done! HA! Just kidding honey!)


Anna said...

I feel the same way...I took for granted all Elias did to help (even just keeping the kids out of my hair)& I didn't get much done when he was home all the time (unemployment=messy house). My home is much cleaner & and I get a lot more done when he is gone, I think it is because I am trying to distract myself. The hard part will be trying to stay this way when things finally get back to normal :)

Jason and Charlotte said...

You're not alone, I tend to do the same thing. The guys seem to get us all off schedule. Darn them for being so much fun to be around!!!

shumaker clan said...

it is great that the realization came to you now. I wish I could say that was the problem in my house. I run around like a chicken with it head chopped off becasue I never know where or from where I am running now as a days. Between sports church and going to the Y I am never at home but of course long enough for the house to always look like a disater.

kara said...

Oh, yes...this is scientific fact. When E is gone to China, I am a great mother...patient, kind, loving, nurturing, and clean. When I'm counting down to his daily arrival home, I am pissed off, annoyed, frustrated, and tired. It's all true. Welcome to the Catch-22 Club.