Sunday, January 29, 2012

White Flag

They finally got me, my white flag went up tonight.  I just couldn't win this one.  With being sick and Theo working on his school work it was just a losing battle. 

The kids actually won this round. 

I've read so many articles, and had so many people, old and young tell me..."Cherish these moments, they go by so fast!".  And my response was always..."How about YOU cherish them!".  HA!  But seriously, I would LOVE to cherish them if they would just give me a chance!  Am I right?!

With Theo being in the Bishopric at church, I'm left to sit by my lonesome with 5 kids during sacrament meeting.  Of course it's always, "She's sitting in my spot!", "I want that book, crayon, coloring book...etc.!", "I'm hungry!", "I gotta go potty!" and none of it is spoken in a hushed voice.  I swear my kids all suffer from VI, voice immodulation, where they can't control the volume of their voices. (Can you name that SNL character? :D)  And it's not even the talking that is the bad part, they must be secretly training for the WWF because they are constantly rolling around in the pews, on the floor trying to get one another in head locks.  I would not be surprised if they try to pile drive one another!

Of course when we get home, they just pick up where they left off.  The fighting, yelling, crying...all at top volume.  This isn't just on Sunday, during the week they are fighting all morning until I drop them off at school, then as soon as they get in the car it's fighting and yelling.  I don't ever wish for my kids to grow up quickly, or that this part of parenting would all be over.  I just want to be able to enjoy this time with them.  I really do want to cherish them, but they sure know how to make it difficult. 

My family, meaning my brothers and sisters, aren't really huggy and we don't tell each other that we love one another, so I'm finding it hard to figure out how to get my kids to do this with one another.  If I could just figure out some way to bring harmony into the home between kids then maybe I could have those special cherishing moments.  Theo and I are at our wits end trying to keep the peace, and it's definitely wearing on us.  Our methods are going largely unnoticed by our children, and I'm running out of ideas.  The constant refereeing is taking its toll, we seriously just lay in the bed next to each other in the fetal position holding on to one another waiting for the screaming to stop and for harmony to magically replace the hostile environment!   

So I propose a question to all you out there in the blogging world, how do you keep harmony in your house between siblings and how do you keep your sanity while you wait for the harmony to take effect?


Stephanie Jacobs said...

Oh Kara! Sounds like you had an awful night. My Mom is one of six kids and assures me her house was always loud and crazy. But it was also always filled with someone to play with, someone to read to, someone to laugh with. She still has the best laughs with her siblings about those times, good and bad. I don't have any advice for you but I've seen you with your kids and you have such love in your home. They are lucky kids and you are great parents!

Mills Family said...

Kara I had to laugh! Wouldn't it be so nice if our children played perfectly together, told each other that they loved each other, and displayed affection towards each other? Parenting would be a piece of cake. Hang in there little camper. I tell myself that they are making each other stronger and are preparing each other for the harsh world. They will know how to stand up to the bullies and those that will try to overpower them. Kara you are an amazing mom. Hang in there little camper! 8)

Carrie Cox said...

Been there, done that, will repeat again, I'm sure. :)

My only suggestion is repetition. However you respond, do so the same way all the time. That works the best for me. They do get it... eventually. Until then, take lots of Time Outs. And read to escape!

Jessica Reid said...

I think the people who tell you to "cherish every moment" are senile. You can only cherish it after you lose your mind. But, we can still love our kids, we just don't have to "love" every minute of it.

Annie said...

I understand every word and say amen sista. It does give me comfort to know that I have good company. Something that has been helpful in encouraging harmony is when the older kids do something mean to each other, they have to do one act of service for that person to compensate. For example, if Vance hits Mimi or breaks something of hers on purpose, he gets to make her bed or do one of her jobs. He could also make her something, pick her flowers or get her her favorite treat. It seems to be a logical consequence all the while encouraging what you really want your kids to do.