Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Emma = pandemonium

This is the face of a disaster mastermind! This little person is capable of making messes equivalent to an entourage of 2 year olds, and yet she makes it look so easy. Just to give you an idea lets review a few of her messes from today alone.

The first incident happened during her nap, or should I say her napless adventure in her pants. Apparently sleeping wasn't on her agenda, but she did manage to pencil in a major explosion in her diaper. With Mommy unawares of her situation she took full advantage. She striped off her pants and diaper and commenced with what appeared to me, stamping her nasty slimy buttcheeks all over her bed. It was on her pillow, blankets, shirt, wood slats of the crib and yes, even under her fingernails. EEEEWWWW! She must have been thrilled to have made her own brand of play-doh because I never heard a peep from her. I discovered this monstrosity when I went in to get her right before we had to leave to get Tobie. The poo must have been there for awhile because it had caked on her butt and when I tried to wipe it just started flaking on the carpet. I threw her in the unplugged tub and left her there to soak while I took her sheets off the bed and put them in the washing machine. Thankfully Theo was able to leave work and go pick up Tobie. I quickly cleaned her up and disinfected her entire bed.

The second incident happened while I was making dinner. A friend called me and I had Hannah strapped to me in the Baby Bjorn. (Don't worry, I wasn't using the stove burners. Hannah was perfectly safe.) When dinner was ready and I got off the phone with my friend I started to notice that Emma was being awfully quiet. Then I heard the water faucet in the bathroom running. I knew that noise meant trouble for me. I ran to the bathroom and Emma's mouth was dyed blue along with her hands. The toothpaste was smeared on the counter, but I had a feeling that the blue dye wasn't from the toothpaste. I saw that Tobie's mouthwash that is suppose to stain the plaque on his teeth was missing, and it is blue. I asked her where it was and she took off exactly knowing what I was talking about. She brought it back, minus the top seeming pretty proud of herself that she was able to be a good helper. I started to clean her up by wiping her down, but then I noticed that she apparently was using it as shampoo because her hair was all sticky. So that meant bath #dos. I thought that was the end of the mess, come on...she's done worse, refer to incident 1. But that wasn't the end of it. Theo went walking by our playroom and saw her artistic expressions of blue mouthwash all over the floor in several different places. I scrubbed the floor by the entrance, by the princess table and on top of it, and the kitchen set.

These were just two of the major messes that Emma has orchestrated. I have not mentioned the constant trail of toys she leaves behind her, the sticky fingerprints she leaves on EVERYTHING, the throwing all the letters and animal magnets off of the refrigerator and the constant aversions made by me to keep her out of the dogs food and water and the cat's litter box (her personal sandbox). I have had two other 2 year olds and she by far takes the cake for causing the most chaos.

That's my Emma!


Chelle said...

I had the poop problem with Gavin. One time he smeared it all over his window along with the walls and bed. It was disgusting! So I feel your pain!

Lainie said...

I love the aliteration - she takes the cake for causing the most chaos! Great writing!!! You will someday look back and laugh. In the meantime, we cry OR live for naptime!!!

thebohans said...

when did emma start growing up??? no growing allowed! sheesh!