Monday, June 20, 2011

Thanking a Woman for My Father's Day

I just did a post exposing how wonderful Theo is, I seriously couldn't have put in a special order for a better husband and father. But without the help of one special high school girl I would never have had my happily ever after.

Theo wasn't born into the Mormon religion like I was. He grew up in a very strong Christian household, and he had a wonderful example through his mother as to the importance of having Jesus Christ and His gospel in his life. But it wasn't his mother that brought him to me.

In High School Theo was a bit of a rebel who had no interest in going to church anymore. That's when a young Mormon girl caught his attention and they started dating. As the dating turned more serious she began to share her beliefs with Theo. She introduced him to some wonderful missionaries and helped him really experience the Mormon family dynamic between Ward members. Through this young lady Theo accepted the gospel and was baptized.

Well, this young lady had dreams of attending BYU and through her efforts was accepted and prepared to move away for college. She made a decision that ultimately changed my life forever.

She broke up with Theo.

A heartbroken man moved away from his hometown in Georgia, away from his Mormon Ward family and moved to a little town in Alabama to live with his Dad. Instead of wallowing in self pity, or blaming Mormons for his loss, he found his local church house and without knowing a single soul went to church.

He was very active, going to all the Single activities and even came to Institute (a scripture study class for college students) and that is where I first met him. And the rest as they say is history.

Now I have a Temple marriage and 5 beautiful children, all because one girl was steadfast in her beliefs.

I got to met her after we were married, and I wanted to thank her for introducing Theo to the church and then dumping him...heehee....but that might have seemed a little too awkward not knowing her very well and all. I used to blog stalk her hoping one day we would be in the same blogging circle, but then she went private and I no longer can blogdrop (eavesdrop, but through blogging, I just made up that word. =)). But I hope that one day she will know the gratitude I feel towards her and her vigilance in being a good example so that my Theo could become the father of our eternal family.

Thursday, June 16, 2011

Professed Pessimist

Denial....it's not just a river in Egypt.

And that is why I am admitting I have a problem. Admitting is the first step in recovery right?

I am a pessimist.

I've kind of known that about myself, but never thought of it as a big deal. I'm not enthusiastic, I'm not a cheerleader, in fact I'm down right sarcastic about other peoples accomplishments sometimes. (I say sometimes, I'm not completely heartless!)

I realized I have a real problem when I had a dream the other night. Theo and I were walking along some remote lakeside, hand in hand. (Maybe my subconsciousness is getting excited about our anniversary get away next month...can't wait!) Then straight out of some romantic movie Theo swoops me off the ground in his arms and we are twirling around laughing out of pure happiness and joy. Then quite suddenly I stop and say, "Something bad is going to happen, I don't like being this happy because something is going to ruin it."

My dream immediately turned into what had the potential to be a nightmare that I woke myself up from before it could really turn to that.

I have a real problem when even in my dreams I can be that cynical. I had the potential to really be happy and I couldn't do it. It's weird because I am happy in real life, but I have this looming fear that because my life is so rosy that something bad is going to happen and turn my world upside down.

Because of that fear I have turned into a real pessimist. I apologize for so many postings blubbering about my blubber. I realize that I need to be thankful for a body that can do what I ask it to do instead of punishing it for not looking the way I want it to look. I'm afraid now that if I don't start appreciating what I have then it will be taken away from me.

So instead of being a negative nanny I'm going to work on conquering my flaws with a positive persona. My cousin posted THIS article on HER BLOG, and within the first paragraph it says;

"people who make positive thinking and laughter a key goal in their lives tend to experience more daily success and happiness than anyone else."

This will be my midyear resolution, to approach life with more positive thinking and laughter. And with this change I really hope....no, I know (bad habits are hard to break) I'll be able to accomplish my goals.